Chicken Scratch » Rambling

Pop-Tarts Rant

Gregg — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 09:05:19 +0000

We all know them even if we wont admit to eating them. That thin layered crust with some sweet sugar gel pinched and sealed inside. A sugar glaze frosting with colored stuff, I wouldn’t call them sprinkles like the colored sprinkles from Carvel but festive looking all the same. Usually they come in fruit flavors with or without frosting. I dig the S’mores artificially flavored variety. They’re made for toasting with silly instructions and warnings printed on the box. Like remove pastry from pouch before toasting. Make sure to use the lowest setting and for only one cycle. Make sure to let them cool before carefully removing from appliance so you don’t burn yourself. Most times I won’t even toast them. That is that I’m rarely by a toaster when I open the box and they don’t last long after they’re opened. The box. That’s where this rant begins. Packaging. Waste. I wont go psycho and start measuring said tart dimensions with box area nor comparing the volume of box capacity to 8-pack actual bulk volume. I will document the waste with a few photographs to illustrate a common problem found in most product packaging but especially prevalent in pre-fab convenience foods.

From the get go there is a basic size discrepancy. Through deceptive wrapping an initial coverup is evident once pulled from the box.

When folded over the pop is out of the tart. Just look at the height difference. Madness. And don’t fret for the width is not left out of the equation. When fully unwrapped the entire scam unravels as clearly evident when placed on the box front panel. Though an attempt to rectify this has been made with the addition of two additional tarts to the previous 6-pack count, only a net 3 ounces of weight has been added to the total package of 8. This package could handle the contents of the 12 pack”double-wide” which if truly was doubled would be a 16-count box. Grrrr.

New Year Revolutions

Gregg — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 02:37:20 +0000

I’m spinning and spinning out of control, reckless and wanton. A dervish whirling until blood loss causes nirvana. And I can see. A new year is upon as wednesday blended into thursday in a seamless transition of blue to green. I anticipate full circles, a bending of time and space bringing the past to the present restructuring the future for the now. The end of an era as ancient wisdom is recovered and disseminated to enhance our spiritual awareness. What is needed now is super-posi energy and the culmination of 26,000 years of accumulated knowledge for the transition from the old World age to the New Age, the galactic synchronization approaching real fast. So Im spinning and spinning, directed and focused now hopeful for my future and that of humanity.

Lucky Dogs and Grounded Eagles

Master Jedi — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 05:31:00 +0000

So it arrived in the mail whilest on the coast. A decent sized box for its thin weight confirming that P and M have pulled through, again. Rejoice and connect. The sweet memories of youth immediately envelope marshmallow daydreams beyond lucy in her graham cracker miniskirt chocolate tubetop afire. Refreshing and intimate. The crackle and snap of the “pure”. The first pulse of a sustaining beat sparks the urge. The compulsion. The dancing ensues. I’m left sticky and crumby and quite satisfied a bit of overindulgence perhaps for my supply already runs low with half the goodness depleted. But there is another. Do or not do. There is no try. ; )

Fareness at the Fair

Master Jedi — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:48:30 +0000

Why do some get choice placement when others are stuck behind the food vendors? Luck of the draw? Out of time sync? Personal vendetta? These never known questions are known by some and they ain’t telling so the rest are left to guess. Master Jedi has contributed and been repaid in kind. Solidly in the flow. Others are old favorites and know how to sweet talk securing prime real estate while others create the space with their talent and energy. I encountered some beautiful bead work from Miss Chris Chapman who does beaded bottles and jewelry with a very clever little magnet trick. Check her out at randomactsofbeading . And then there was Missy Lambert of Glass Roots Mosaic creating amazing mosaic windows from reclaimed stained glass and second-hand frames. I now have one piece of hopefully many to come. The bit of sadness came from SunUP Jewelry. Young Ashley Young the owner/artist does funky vivid fused glass jewelry but her artwork could not cheer her up from the bad placement of her booth. Yes, she was stuck beyond the food vendors of which I noticed most of the crowd did not follow through. Not much traffic and I think her sales were low. Help her out at sunupjewelry or at least check it out. Luck of the draw in full effect. I’ll mention the situation at the follow-up meeting.Overall the street fair was a huge success with lots of conversation and happy people!

Return of the Jedi

Master Jedi — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:14:03 +0000

So where has this master jedi been you don’t wonder? Well I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’m not really sure. Oh I know that seems a cop out but I’ve been practicing my astral projection and think my spirit essence was abducted allowing my physical body to be exploited through the means of printing. And printing I have been. Coming off of the busiest year ever that being 2007 this new one seems to be on a similar magnificent pace. This year will be the discharge barrage. I’m making the big push to all to sample the magic of the plasticharge and then some.

TILLAMOOK QI’S AND THE ONOMATOPOEIA

Master Jedi — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 05:08:00 +0000

Starblog 5768 – Return from Oncier

GONG! After the successful test of the Klikiss Torch on the gas-giant Oncier I took flight before the first of the terraforming crews set out to process the freshly thawed moons. With the blessing of Masterjedi for positive results from this experiment I departed with dried figs, turkish apricots, and a slab of snowflake obsidian to find the heart of the forest and meditate on creation. My creation.

While on my head heels pointed at the heavens I envisioned a world with no humans. No conduit for the ever present qi which flows in wide bands and waves searching for intelligence. A world where plants and animals, the elements incarnate fight for survival over the finite resources available thus forming a symbiotic relationship with each other becoming dependent resources vital to the others existence, necessary for procreation and reclaimation. Then everything went black. Gong!

A black garter snake striped in pale cream slithered up to my upside down head and flicked its tongue exploring my lips and up turned nostrils. I held balance and blew a kiss… Inter-species love is alright. Its all about the inter dimensional conection and that anatomy weirdness but…

Gong! Onomatopoeia. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. One more time. Thwack! Wake up people. Sign the petition. This is not a picnic and though I get and A plus on my bloody importance I turn to amaranth for my salvation and my breakfast. Where are those figs??

Mind Freeze and the Blizzard of Nice

Master Jedi — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 05:08:48 +0000

So a Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim are naked in a tiled shower and the soap drops… then some religious and political babble add lather to the the mix. So what happens next you may ponder. Surely this can not end well. But wait, is that super posi-energy lurking around the corner. (yes dom, it resides with me).The jew is a druid biding his time, the christian an ex-flyboy mowing lawns and the muslim, a traveling Iranian claiming to be a baptist. Hmm. The jew is cut, the others are not. The flyboy wants later gym hours, the others do not care. The muslim rambles on, the others do not understand (oh of course they do). But they could all agree that the bible is not to be taken literally and like the fables of Aesop, drawing inspiration from moral and universal truths, real happiness and the cure to the insanity all around is within themselves with love and peace being the driving forces. To accept and receive the light and give it back to others thus becoming enlightened. A heartfelt conclusion amongst three naked men of diverse background and foreground. They also agreed that the druid should eat more. maybe some chicken??

and writing of chicken…Slam. The chicken rebounds. Slam. Down again but resiliently, relentlessly the chicken leaps, dodges and weaves, dives to grasp onto and ride the wave, the deluge of printing bursting through the coop. Kudos to Anthony Fontanilla for two awesome poster designs and print projects completed!! Looking forward to many more!! and to the Dandies who own my next week- Thanx for keeping the chicken in a warm place all these years. I am truly grateful and blessed to be a part of it all!!