Chicken Scratch

We all know them even if we wont admit to eating them. That thin layered crust with some sweet sugar gel pinched and sealed inside. A sugar glaze frosting with colored stuff, I wouldn’t call them sprinkles like the colored sprinkles from Carvel but festive looking all the same. Usually they come in fruit flavors with or without frosting. I dig the S’mores artificially flavored variety. They’re made for toasting with silly instructions and warnings printed on the box. Like remove pastry from pouch before toasting. Make sure to use the lowest setting and for only one cycle. Make sure to let them cool before carefully removing from appliance so you don’t burn yourself.  Most times I won’t even toast them. That is that I’m rarely by a toaster when I open the box and they don’t last long after they’re opened. The box. That’s where this rant begins. Packaging. Waste. I wont go psycho and start measuring said tart dimensions with box area nor comparing the volume of box capacity to 8-pack actual bulk volume. I will document the waste with a few photographs to illustrate a common problem found in most product packaging but especially prevalent in pre-fab convenience foods.

From the get go there is a basic size discrepancy. Through deceptive wrapping an initial coverup is evident once pulled from the box.

When folded over the pop is out of the tart. Just look at the height difference. Madness. And don’t fret for the width is not left out of the equation. When fully unwrapped the entire scam unravels as clearly evident when placed on the box front panel. Though an attempt to rectify this has been made with the addition of two additional tarts to the previous 6-pack count, only a net 3 ounces of weight has been added to the total package of 8. This package could handle the contents of the 12 pack”double-wide” which if truly was doubled would be a 16-count box. Grrrr.

I’m spinning and spinning out of control, reckless and wanton. A dervish whirling until blood loss causes nirvana. And I can see. A new year is upon as wednesday blended into thursday in a seamless transition of blue to green. I anticipate full circles, a bending of time and space bringing the past to the present restructuring the future for the now. The end of an era as ancient wisdom is recovered and disseminated to enhance our spiritual awareness. What is needed now is super-posi energy and the culmination of 26,000 years of accumulated knowledge for the transition from the old World age to the New Age, the galactic synchronization approaching real fast. So Im spinning and spinning, directed and focused now hopeful for my future and that of humanity.

So the 15th anniversary of hair of the dog brewery is approaching and a huge dog pile sits atop my light table. 6 different designs with a common 2 color hydrant print on the back. Eighteen separations in all most being 3 color set ups. It is a daunting project but a familiar one so with alacrity I charge the beasts and start shooting. Screens of course, lots and lots of screens. There’s a lot of prep work to be done before I actually pull anything. Check ink colors and thanks to my scrambled organization I find the crucial pallet packed in tuna cans with tin foil covers. Sweet. Gonna need a lot of cream and the signature mustard gold… and I have those formulas down pat. All right. Ready. Now that screens are shot I just have to block them out, register film to platen, set screens up, tape them out, find some squeegees, mix up ink, get the flash going, spread out ink on screens, and of  course the t-shirts have been counted and piled up in order, and print. So there, I let the dogs out. Corny perhaps but then again I’m getting on. Peace.